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little update

I find it really difficult to cover all the stuffs i'm meant to do within the time.
I suppose it's time i plan some routine-ish type thing. I've probably have a record in making a routine all these times but never namaging to follow it.
whatever, i'm thinking to divide my time in five sections.
1. Photography
2. Math
3. Art
4. Physics/ Astronomy
5. School homeworks/ courseworks

i know i'm not putting anywhere near enough time for number five. But i really need to be carry on with the other four topics. At the end of the day those are the ones that i'm going to work on in future. Now, i just hope i can follow this time division nicely ..

oh, i've seen a 11 year old girl in brown karate belt!! :O i sure am going back to karate on summer :) 

still got to plan out all the photo series .. i'm so badass lazy person!!

bye blog! :) 

Hello Bloggie!!

So it has been ages since i've updated my pathetic life story. Since i'm bored right now and don't have anything proper to do, why not update the blog to kill my time?
So it was busy .. i've been actually busy in doing something constructive.
I’ve finally made my pyramid and life-size mummy with weeks of hard work and help from friend. Obviously my teacher was being very good teacher by staying away from the whole thing, not helping me at all, being annoyed by my questions and actually showing off the annoyance and what not! Jeez!! But my frnz were all cool helping me during lunch or afterschool .. I’m loved! :D
I’ve still gotta write out the hieroglyphic on the pyramid + print on bandages and wrap it around the mummy then rip out bits of it. My senses are telling me that it’ll be a very long process! Heaven knows what will happen cause our coursework submission day was last Friday. I wasn’t in so didn’t submit it. But I still should be handing it in on the day I go back. :( ughh!! So much worry!!
On top of that my different media exploration and observational works for both courseworks are mostly undone. I’ve managed to do quite A LOT drawings and sketches for the ‘Tradition’ piece today. Goddd!! Drawing Bangladeshi brides are the most tiring thing ever. Can they not wear less jewelleries but then again that’s how the tradition is .. I love it but it’s just tiring to drawwww!! Lol .. so anyway, I still have to paint them all which I’m thinking to do all by tomorrow. It seems more like a suicidial plan to me. Seriously, I’ve drawn about a good 10/12 images and they dragged all the damn energy out of me. What will happen when I start painting them? :O
And not to mention the ‘Egypt’ project haven’t been improved. It needs so much work but I just can’t manage anytime. So much to do. It’s kind of weird though. I’ve spent all my year 10 trying to figure out some lame art design. Never had any ideas. But all of sudden, it’s like a bomb blasted and I’ve started getting all these ideas. I’ve actually flowing with ideas .. anything I touch, I get an arty idea to do with it. Anything! Only thing stopping me is time. And it sometimes get frustrating when I can clearly see all these ideas worked out in my head but then not being able to do it; either cause of time or no one is helping.
I deeply owe to Lola, Charlie and Marv .. they were so helpful all these time when I felt like to jump of a bridge cause I couldn’t do things. They gave up their time to help me. Seriously, I’m very very lucky to get friends like this. But still, this doesn’t mean I’ll stop annoying them 24/7 .. that’s like impossible for me xD
I’ve finished reading ‘Percy Jackson: The Lost Hero’. Rick Riodan got to be kidding me. He kept Percy out of the whole bloody book. Obviously the book was a master-piece as usual but still no percy?! That’s so damn unfair. And it’s even more unfair when he writes the story for 500 or so pages and then says it was only the first part of the story. The second part is yet to be written and published on autumn 2011. I hate being told unfinished stories. Specially when it’s about a mythology, even specially when it’s greek and even more specially when it’s Percy Jackson! Dammmnn!!
I watched the movie ‘Percy Jackson: The Lighting Thief’ online yesterday. I hate to say it but I didn’t liked it. They have changed so many stuffs. I expected to see loads of greek statues, buildings, traditional greek clothes etc. I expected camp half-blood to be full with every possible thing on earth. Loads more actions. loads of supernatural stuff but no!! only a few boring animations and Medusa’s head. :( They could have done so much more better with the movie. Also Annabeth was supposed to have blond hair but she has dark hair in the movie. The girl who plays annabeth is very nice and cute but I think she would look much better as an Aphrodite kid. Not very Athena-ish. And percy !! jeez!! I thought he is the hottest until I saw Luke! Oh God!! All these times that I’ve read percy Jackson books, I hated luke with a passion. But then all of a sudden I started feeling sympathy for him yesterday. I felt like he’s not quite the villain. He’s only being used. I hope rick riodan brings luke up in some later stories and present him massively as a very cool guy again.. he’s way too hot to be a villain! Lol ;P
I want to make a dragon. A 3-D one. With wings and fire-breath. But dragon doesn’t fit in any of my projects so my teachers won’t let me use school supplies! What a bloody shameee!! :@
I went town today to buy golden and copper acrylic paint to paint the jewelleries of the Bangladeshi brides. I’ve just realised that you can’t make gold or copper out of any other colour. It is a fundamental colour.Also brought powder glitters to put on top of my pyramid :) Now the glitter is all over my face. Yeah, I do manage all sorts of weird things to happen! Lol
School is going pathetic. I hate everything other than art. I thought to finish or go to a certain point with all my courseworks from every subject by the end of January but well it’s feb now! But everything is untouched other than art! I hate to do everything else. Art and photography are the only things I can think about at the moment! :/
I’ve made my decision to go to WestVic. Everyone says it’s the shittest sixth form but that means there will be least people going in there. So I won’t have to put up with the bitches! And also this one lets you take photography :D I’ve decided to do Math, Physics, Art, Photography at my A levels. I can’t be asked to take chemistry or to drop any of these four subject. I love them all very much!
Bitches at school are going out of control. Rumours everywhere you step in. why can’t you people leave me alone? I’ve done nothing to you! And yes! Complained against your friend so I should suffer even more bullies? Waow! And the school!! Asked them for help but ‘we only work on facts!’ .. bloody I am the fact! I’m telling you myself! It isn’t enough? Which is? Ugghh!! Can’t wait to get outta this shitty crap!
Problems with family is still on. Sometimes it pisses me off and sometimes don’t give a shit! I’ve been having phone calls from all the people trying to convince me and giving me their pathetic logic. But guess what! I’m a bloody rebel .. don’t have any control switch so can’t control me. I’ll do what I want to do. Be rude to people that are nasty to me. My fucking life. You can not decide for me. My life, my rules. Call me spoiled, don’t care.. call me anything, hurt me in anyway .. do anything you want but I don’t care. I literally don’t care for any of you stupid people. You may do anything you wish but I am not being your puppet. And if it goes worse I won’t actually hesitate to ask for legal help. This time, I am serious .. since I’ve lost all support, I fear nothing now! There is nothing to loose anymore!
And what .. life is good .. just need sooo much more time for everything. It’s a mess but not that annoying though .. I’ll work it out :)

Jan. 30th, 2011

i've got so much to do
i've only just started to understand my graphics coursework. but still soooo much to work on
science courseworks are still untouched
in citizenship i don't even have a group which means i'll have to work out the whole crap just on my own. eve suggested to join amy, jess and katy's group but i'm very bad in working with a team. i've got these serious problem that i can never phrase something that i'm thinking. I just can't explain my thoughts. A teacher once suggested that probably it's cause english is my second language but the problem is not that. I can't even explain my thoughts clearly in my own language. And sometimes i feel like i've figured the solution but there is a thin layer of curtain that is seperating my consious mind to see it.  It's hard to explain what i mean. but oh well .. yeah, it's a big problem.
i've managed to get along with my art courseworks. Infact i'm over-flowing with ideas. I want to include a lot of artworks in my portfolio but i'm not sure if i'll have time. Only about 2 weeks left.
Math module 10 is totally out of control.. it's so full of graphs and i've hated graphs all my life. Only bit i understand is algebra .. which will help me only to manage a A grade but in my A levels i'll be buggered up ..

i'm useless .. the most uselessssss stuff in the whole universe .. uugggghh!!!

oh yeah, Rick Riordan is the coolest writer ever :D 
i'm verrryy tired atm
early this evening i was in a very bad mood
it's very annoying when even your art teacher doesn't help u in art.
i repeatedly failed today in making a pyramid for my final piece.
only realised that module 10 of maths is something that i've always feared. Full of graphs and non sense vectors.
i am very frustrated atm cause i couldn't do anything as i plan.
I've had an idea about a photo quite a long ago but never got to shoot it. Then when i actually found the stuffs i needed for it yesterday, no one would bloody help me. And today i managed to set everything up but oh hell! how can i do something in peace. Charlie started arguing cause i said i will fail maths but she thinks i'm a genius in math. It wasn't any big argument but somehow it managed to bloody mess up my cheerful mood. My models didn't showed up. Marv won't stop reminding me she have to leave early. My art teacher won't let me take the photo in my way for some absolutely crap reason. Priya won't stop making loud noises. Lola won't stop crying over little things .. and it's just all bloody messy :@

i'm off to sleep now! if i can .. when i wake up i'll try to shoot something decent fro my 365. I might make my wall visible on facebook again. My courseworks are all buggered up .. i .. i am suchhh a looser .. ughh

Bleeding inside-out

I’m bleeding .. bleeding inside out. Outside in.
But why would you care? Why should you care?
That’s right, you shouldn’t care ..
cause I don’t know you
You are not the one I loved.
You not the one I have shared memories with ..
That was past .. past indeed .. 

I don’t want you to look at me. Or do anything to me at all.
I don’t want attention. It scares me now.
I remember once I loved attentions. I was used to be with people who gives me attention.
But now I hate it. Don’t pay attention to me please. Don’t ask me any question. Cause I won’t want to answer it and it won’t be very nice
I’ve just discovered that the world is not really nice or a friendly place.But still I’ll have to survive. So I’ll better survive in my own imaginary world ..
please don’t stop to stare back. Attention scares me. I feel like you can look deep down me .. I don’t want that. I don’t want people to figure out what’s wrong ..

stuffs- 20Jan11

i hated the thought of having to go school this morning. Obviously cause of IT and graphics. All my IT teacher ever seems to do is flirt with the girl next to me. And i am terribly shit in graphics. Also both of these subject teachers got a habbit of picking up on me with is very verrrrryyyy annoying. Somehow i managed to survive though .. lol. At the end of lesson out of nowhere i suddenly tripped over one these boys and i thought he would start a fight now(normally he is a very grumpy kid) but instead he said sorry(!!) lol And then my IT teacher was arguing with Jordan .. he was adressing jordan with his last name Rocca. But he pronounced it in a very funny way .. 'rosha' ROFL .. the whole class brusted into laughter ..
then break passed in a blur. Graphics :(:( i was looking at alif laila series but sir caught me .. he didn't got what it was but understood it wasn't any research for graphics. So i got told to stop browsing and do something useful .. i did somehow made some sample little cubes .. pround of them .. lol ;P they were cute .. hhaha
then artttt :D:D i plastered my hand with mold rock and people were suddenly telling me about dangers of it. One said that if it gets badly stuck i'll have to cut of my arm etc etc .. lol ;P was rather fun. My art teacher also started scaring me .. he takes great pleasure in teasing me, no idea why .. 
i had to stay in art until almost the end of lunch .. the mold rock wasn't drying. then i ran to the library .. and ommmgggg!! rhys was hugging charlie today :D:D yeah,, i get excited when i see people in love. typical aphrodite follower .. lol ... i finally got my percy jackson book. asked it for ages ago...
then double triple science .. it's normally fun but not when we have Jones as the teacher. uggghh .. he will never stop questioning me. And today when i was actually explaining something to Ka-chun, he was telling me off. He thinks i don't have that much of a brain to explain something to somebody .. well, i'm not intelligent but hello, that doesn't give u any right to tell be off .. uggh!! whatever ..
after that school finally finished but i had to go to afterschool club. I needed to finish my art work .. i asked marvie to come with me. priya came along as well. I plastered the other half of my arm .. i couldn't do the fingers:(:( they were coming off, breaking and all :( i couldn't even put layers on that cause it will make it loose it's shape :(:'( but somehow i finished it and put on the tray for it to dry .. bits of fingers came ut though .. gotta fix them when they dries...
then walked back home with marvie .. this girl is so freaking funny .. lol we were dancing on the road .. singing out loud .. no care of the world .. lol .. then again we started analysing a boy from school .. some of his behaviour suggests he is a vampire .. lol probably i'm watching too much vampire shows .. haha
whatever, came home .. had meal. mom made lal bhorta :D:D:D it's basically morich bhorta .. but i like to call it that .. it's verrrryyyy hot but i looooovvvvveeee it :D:D 
then she handed me in a bunch of lichies .. no idea from where she managed lichies in winter but that doesn't matter .. eating them does .. haha .. yaaammmiiee :D
saw today's episode of the vampire serial.
listened to songs for a bit .. went on fb .. it was boring .. gaahh .. now writing .. i feel like i'm gonna fall asleep now .. it's only 7:15 .. whateverrrr .....
i have no plan for tomorrow .. don't even know if i'll stay in or out .. i need some sleep and rest but definitely not gonna get that for some people in this house. Then again going out needs hell lot of energy .. uugghh!!
i had mom trying to convince me about some stuff .. shame that she listen to the evil people not me .. but oh well, when ever i've listened to anyone .. so why now? haha .. whateverrrrr

stuffs- 19Jan11

exam tomorrow but can't be asked to study now
so overly tired and my leg aches
got a headache as well
i kind of finished my final piece for tradition other than the war bit which i am leaving for the moment.
had this idea to make a hand and do mehedi designs on that
the school don't have big enough card-boards for me to make the pyramid, appearently
i asked the librarian to process a book for me today which has only came in. she said she can't cause she'll be going home in half hour.. but it takes five minutes to process a new book and she was chatting with other staffs only .. how nice
did all the circle theorem today which was good. i managed to get about all of them right
graphics tomorrow!! uggghhhh!! bloodyyyy :@ i probably will come back home after lunch
which means i will be missing art afterschool :(
marvie told her mom about her crush it she went all mad which was all funny .. lol
i am surely taking some photos tomorrow unless there are specific people to annoy me here
the person on tv is being extremely gay .. it's annoying when straight people acts gay ,.. yuckk!!
i'll probably try to paint Suhi's portrait .. fingers crossed
i still haven't gone anywhere with courseworks
i'm bored .. i'll go and roam in flickr for a bit longer and then see the circle theorems..
night night!!


flickr is just so full of talents .. omg!!
I was previously used to be astonished at a lot of 15 year youngs' work. They all are sooooo brilliant that i feel ashamed that i am 16 but still don't even know to use a camera properly. I always go on giving lame excuses about upset mood and all those stuffs when these people younger than me has actually completed their 365 already ..
and now the thing is, today i came across a 12 year old who is extremely amazing. I am just a whole load of crap. can't do anything... at least i should take inspirations from these young talents .. oh damnnn.. i gotta get doing things .. i have to bloody stop being a tortoise .. ughhh!! :( bless these young souls :) <3


i've got a billions of courseworks to do ..
God-damn bloody hell
courseworks could go and die


First i didn't wanted to go school cause of headache but then was forced to. Had to do my homework straight after i woke up cause i was being too lazy to do it yesterday. Then went school. School was going good until the fourth period. Had double art this morning which was awesome :D Then triple science .. then had boys messing around with me for no reason. These few bloody bitchy evil non-sense boy should be slapped till they are dead. I was so angry that i straight ran to ECM. I knew if i go on agruing with these idiots they are just gonna keep on doing their stupidities. But even the school authority .. what did they do? ask the boys to behave .. that's it .. that is bloody it .. no nothing .. as if nothing ever happened. Bloody pricks!! :@ I will see what happens tomorrow .. if they take no action i am bloody making it worse for them all. I am not bloody tolerating these non-sense .. pricks!! :@